Lee, why do you hate Keri Hilson? 

Lee, why are you so angry when it comes to Keri Hilson?

Lee, why do you call Keri Hilson Meg? 

Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee,  Le-

Shut the entire fuck up already and watch the WHOLE thing before you read further to understand my disdain for Keri Hilson

(Brian Bee, WHO?) 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4WXuqpiM4U&playnext=1&list=PLECB4A7D0621E148A

Well put Brian!! But keep reading. 

Look, there are only 3 people I genuinely dislike in this cruel world of ours. Tyrese (because he’s a Charmander), Keri Hilson, and Spiderman (most overrated superhero, EVER)

But I’ve already cooked on Tyrese and why his phonetically challenged wisdom irritates me. And the Spiderman blog will come at another time. 

But never Meg?

Well, here goes

Timbaland, in my opinion one of the greatest music producers of the last 30 years, was looking for a female singer to sign to his Mosley Music Group imprint he started. Polow Da Don, (another dope producer) recommended an up and coming songwriter known as Keri Hilson. 

Keri Hilson, Atlanta-based, came from a songwriting team known as the Clutch, a very talented group of songwriters (Ne-yo, at one point, was a part of them). Keri Hilson got INCREDIBLY LUCKY, as she was in the right place at the right time. 

Moving forward, Keri Hilson gets a guest feature on Timbaland’s “The Way You Are” creating a buzz for her single “Energy”. I didn’t like either song, but I paid attention to her, as she was making moves in the industry. 

So, “Perfect World”, after MUCH delay from the label, was EXECUTIVE PRODUCED by Timbaland and Polow Da Don. I’m sure the label was regretting the fuck outta singing Keri, so…..

At her album release party in ATL, she got BOOED when she did her songs live. Not making this up. People saw past the superior production and flawed song writing, and saw Keri Hilson for what she was. 

Meg from Family Guy. But I’ll get to that later. 

Her first two singles had the following people on them: Ne-Yo, Lil Wayne, Kanye West, Timbaland, AND Polow Da Don.

Bissh, you needed all of those people to garner some type of attention from us. Kanye? Lil Wanye? THAT’S how mediocre you are Keri. You needed the BEST from the industry to get a buzz for your album. Keri is NOT talented enough to garner a hit or a hot record on her own. 

Whatever

Moving forward, Beyonce (the top female R&B singer in the industry, like it or not) does a remix of Diva, and doesn’t invite you on. 

So you get mad? Who Hurt You? Did she make 83 million dollars last year? Oh 

And remix “Turning Me On” DISSING Beyonce And Man And Shoulders aka Ciara? 

You Mad? 

In the record, you talk about writing her songs saying “Polow was trying to instigate it”

Bissh you grown. 

So I realize something. She has a serious insecurity problem. Seriously. Keep reading….

So after reading into it some more, I find this out. 

“The Clutch” got a writing credit for Beyonce’s Crazy In Love, not you. You are taking credit for what 6 other people did in writing that song? 

She’s mad. Beyonce Hurt Her.  

Then you do this? 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmBQgPqv8iM

You mess up the National Anthem? Oh Ok. Whatever

Then I see this? 

Wow, Keri, its just harder to root for you. 

So after a while, I’m like this…

Keri just doesn’t have the X-factor man. She doesn’t have that “it” factor. Her only saving grace is her production. Her song writing is mediorce at best. Her vocals aren’t great, but they aren’t bad. But when you combine the lack of an X-factor, and mad insecurity issues, you get……………Meg. 

Then, in building a buzz for your second album, you drop this…..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUAl1H9_-G0&feature=grec_index

For someone who doesn’t like Beyonce, that video/song was VERY Beyonce-esque. VERY. And this was just simply trashy. 

Meg, this isn’t funny anymore. 

Then, I hear this song. The Insecure Girls Anthem!!! Instilling false self-confidence in ugly girls who now think they are 10s.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtXOVKNazYU

Meg, this isn’t funny anymore. 

Then I hear this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCilexW-RG0

How the fuck you saying “Don’t Hate Cuz I’m Beautiful” then turn around and talk about having a “One Night Stand” with Chris “Beezelbulb” Brown of all people? Bissh you are 28 YEARS OLD. So much for the Pretty Girl Rock and shit. 

Meg, this isn’t funny anymore. 

So this is why Keri Hilson is Meg from Family Guy: Rather than knowing her place in life as an mediorce talent in the industy, she tries too hard. And she’s attractive, don’t get me wrong, but Meg, it doesn’t take all this to fit in. 

But wait, here was the breaking point. Meg doing a Whitney Houston song

See for yourself and tell me what you think. I’ll wait. 

http://thatgrapejuice.net/2011/05/video-keri-hilson-covers-whitneys-i-nothing/

I’m done. This went from funny to just sad.